Today was your funeral services. Officially the third worst day of my life (2 = the day I found out you were not going to make it, 1 = the day you died). I have so much to say about today, but I am in no condition to say it. So, instead I will post the eulogy I gave for you. I love you so much and I miss you painfully.
Mark’s Eulogy, Feb 25th, 2017:
Since I have moved to Buffalo three years ago I have been repeatedly asked “How could you leave Los Angeles for Buffalo?” People look at me as if something might be physically wrong with me or wonder if I might be a little insane. But if those same people had truly known Mark, that isn’t a question that would have ever crossed their minds. Because when you find a guy like Mark you can’t help but take the leap and never look back.
Mark and I met online in some random chat room, two lonely people just looking to chat with someone. We didn’t expect much from each other, being across the country from one another. But we quickly made a connection. When you live so far apart from the other half of your soul all you have to hang on to are your dreams. We talked for hours about what our life could be together. We dreamed big. We dreamed small. And many days it was just the dream of falling asleep in the same bed together. When I finally moved out to New York it was like living a dream. We didn’t care about our differences. We didn’t care that we were living in a mobile home. We didn’t even care that our smallest plans were difficult to pursue. Because at the end of the day we had achieved the best dream of them all, we were together.
We didn’t get to see all of the dreams we planned. But I wouldn’t give up a moment with Mark. Mark was an amazing person and the best man I have ever known.
He was silly, and fun and lived to tease. He had an incredible talent to say the most inappropriate statements completely out of the blue. He could be sick and twisted in the most hilarious ways. And you did NOT want to play Cards Against Humanity with him. He loved to hear people laugh and be happy, even if he had to tickle them to death to do it.
Mark was an amazing friend, even if he didn’t know you at all. He was the type of guy who would run across the street to help the wheelchair bound retiree whose chair was stuck in the mud. He was the guy who helped a woman walk down a slippery sidewalk to her car. He played a video war game with a bunch of guys in Spain, virtual strangers who hardly spoke any English, but he got them all on a conference call to teach them how to play better.
Even in his imperfections, he was perfect. Some of you may know that Mark was a bit of a minor hoarder. Those of you close to him know what with every item he kept he had a story that went along with it. He cherished every item because he cherished every story and couldn’t bear to part from the memories.
But what I cherished most was what many people didn’t get the chance to see. Mark was sentimental and deeply caring. When I still lived in LA, he would wake up 3 hours early every day just so he could call to say “good morning”, and for anyone who knows how much Mark liked to sleep you can understand how important that simple act was.
He would never fail to tell me every day “I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorrow.” (Sorry honey, I simply couldn’t make it through that line). He would text me all day and chat on skype with me every night, for hours – that man could talk circles around any woman on this planet. Occasionally he would sit in bed with a smile on his face while he re-read our email exchanges from years before.
At his core, one of Marks greatest needs was to protect and care for the ones he loved. And while he viewed that act as selfish, he couldn’t understand how selfless he truly was. He never fought for himself, but he would have died for each of us. There is much we can learn from Mark, and the type of person he was.
Five years ago I wrote a message to him trying to express what he meant to me. A couple of weeks before he passed he was re-reading the note and suggested I read it again, so I thought today I would do what he asked of me.
Thank You, Mark
Thank you, for being my anchor, my compass and my guiding star
For enveloping me in your infinite strength
For keeping me centered and true
And for your eternal light that shines brighter than all the rest
Thank you, for navigating me out of the past
For teaching me how to live the present to the fullest
And for giving me a dream of our beautiful future
Thank you, for the youth and laughter you bring to every moment of every day
For your infectious sense of humor
And for that wicked little smile and twinkle in your eye that always precedes a highly inappropriate sexual innuendo
Thank you, for your consummate care, unwavering patience and unparalleled generosity
For inspiring me to be the person you see
And for showing me it doesn’t require courage to trust when you have the love of a partner who is trustworthy
Thank you, for taking my awakened heart into your tender custody
For making me feel like the most precious treasure you have ever owned
And for sharing your life and unconditional love with me
Thank you, Mark, for being the center of my universe and the other half of my soul. I am finally complete…I am forever yours.